I read an article, Raising Responsible Children by Graydon G. Goss, MD, which included a statement, “kids don’t come with instructions.” It hit me that because there is no guide-book, no text-book, absolutely nothing that can truly let each of us know exactly how to raise a child, it can all be very unsettling, unnerving, and can possibly even feel like an impossible task…can we feel this way and still be considered a good parent?
If we really think about it, do we really need instructions? Is there a “once size fits all” model on raising kids?
I think what we really need to do is to really understand each child and know exactly what will work and what will not work on raising that child. We really do need to be conscious of our own value system and the important aspects of that value system when raising that child.
As much as you prepare to have a child in the very beginning while planning pregnancy, there is so much you do; reading books, buying furniture, car seats, clothing, having a baby shower, etc. Does this kind of planning continue once your child is born? Do you constantly plan ahead? Do you constantly think about everything you are doing and/or not doing as each day progresses? Do you think about how it is going to be throughout time on how to raise this child on a day-to-day basis? What is important, what is not important? Do both parents agree on raising this child and agree on how to do so?
These are very good questions that you need to ask yourself. Parenting is definitely a 24 hour job, 7 days a week. It requires so much effort and so much thought. To me, parenting is creating a structure for your child that will allow your child to prosper; creating a structure that will make sure your child have everything they need to be the person they need to be and to be someone you can be proud of….I say “proud of” meaning your child has your value system and is respectful, kind, and considerate to others. “Proud of” has nothing to do with their personal choices in friends or partners or jobs…that is a whole other topic to be discussed at a later time. You are proud of your child when everything you taught them is out of love, kindness, and generosity. You are proud of your child when they grow up with independence and is self-confident to achieve the goals they want to achieve. You are proud of your child when they have a purpose to their life and is doing everything they can to be happy. You are proud of your child when they can take care of themselves and they will be there to share in your life.
There is a lot that you need to think about before they get to this point which is why parenting from day one is extremely important!
Questions? Thoughts? Comments? Please contact me or please reply.