A Mother’s Guilt?

There are so many woman who would love to stay home with their children each and every day, but unfortunately are not able to do so because of the amount of money it takes to raise a child in this century.

So many mothers say they stayed home with their first and/or second child, but then had to return to work.

So many mothers want children, but can’t afford to stay home and have to return to work once the child is born.

So many mothers feel that returning to work with their first, second, and/or third child has made them feel guilty because they had to leave their child or children with people other than themselves.

Some mothers who did stay home at one point, but now have to return to work, now have some of their “younger children” (who now have a working mom) get away with things they didn’t let their “older children” get away with (before they returned to work) because it was wrong and their behavior had to be corrected.

PLEASE do not do this because you feel guilty. You had to do what you had to do. You are not doing anything wrong! The only thing you can do to spend more time with your child or children is to do just that! Every chance you get to spend time with your child or children (homework, school activities, sports, dance, music, karate, having their friends come to your house, movies, outdoor or indoor activities, family gatherings, etc.) spend time with them. Just do it! 

The only thing you should not do is let your guilt get the better of you to the point of now overlooking things or behavior your child or children are doing. For example, by being lenient on rules, homework, chores, behavior, curfews, etc. Don’t let your child or children get away with things because you feel guilty. Don’t let them get away with inappropriate behavior. You still have to correct their behavior, limit them from “needing” certain things, and teaching them from right or wrong.  You still have to do everything you would be doing if you were a stay-at-home mom.

Your parenting does not stop unless you let the guilt control you, unless you let the guilt get in your way. If that happens, then how effective will you be as a parent? How will your child or children react to your leniency? What would they be able to get away with now and when does that stop? What will be the long term effect?

Do not let your mother’s guilt control how you raise your child. Stop the guilt. Just raise your child, no matter what!

Something to think about…comments or suggestions?