Temper Tantrums are the first way we can give a child power. If you say no, then it is no, no matter what! Giving in to your child after he or she is having a temper tantrum is telling that child it is okay to change your mind based on the drama they are exhibiting at the moment; it is okay to cry and scream to get your way; it is okay to do whatever it takes to get your way. NO!!! Let your child have the temper tantrum or cry or scream. If you said no, you have to keep it as a no. Before you say no, however, make sure you want to say no and deal with the consequences of that no. Don’t say no, then rethink it and then say yes. It is extremely important to say what you mean and mean what you say.
Talking back to you is so disrespectful to you. Do not allow your child to be disrespectful to you. You need to correct their behavior as soon as it happens. Be firm and let them know that they need to speak to you with respect. Don’t give them the power to speak to you with disrespect or an order or raising their voice to yell at you.
Buying everything your child asks for, seriously? Why would you buy them EVERYTHING? First of all, we need to teach our children to wait for things or earn things that they want. If they ask for it, and we get it right away, especially for no reason (such as a gift), you are giving them the power to ask and receive anything they want at any time.
Telling you what they want to eat or what time they want to go to bed or whether or not they want to do homework. Letting them set the rules for themselves will give them power. It is your house, your rules (within reason of course). If they start telling you what to do, then when does it stop? When will it end? Or will it?
Listening to you or not listening to you. If your child is not listening to what you are asking, or is not acting the way they are supposed to be acting, or is not following the rules or procedures that were set up for them, what is their consequence? If you let your child not listen to you and there are NO consequences, then they learn to do whatever they want and not listen to anything you say. It will start off small, but will escalate into something too big to handle. There must be consequences to your child for not listening to you or else you are giving them power. Power they do not deserve and power they did not earn. They need to listen to you as their parent.
Please think about how you allow your child to live their childhood. They learn from us as parents. Please make sure you are not giving your child additional power to misbehave or be disrespectful. It will only get worse as time goes by or as they grow up. They will learn to expect this negative behavior from their friends, adults, authority, etc. We need to teach our children respect, kindness, empathy, hard work, and ambition before it is too late to correct.
Think about your child and the power you may be giving to them either consciously or unconsciously. You can change it now, if you need to change it!
Comments or concerns?